okay, i'm calm.

All raged out after yesterday's ragefest, I think I'm going to be pretty mellow for the rest of the week.

The company I work at has had an unusual amount of staff turnover in the past 6 months. It was a little worrying that people lasted an average of 1 week at the office, sometimes only a couple of days. My parents were skeptical about the whole situation and have repeatedly asked me not to get so comfortable.

However, I think most of the turnover made a lot of sense. If you give people a shot and they don't work out, you should try to find someone else, right? The problem with most of the new hires was that management thought they padded their resume. Now, I'm not sure if they indeed did make stuff up on their resume, but I wouldn't be surprised. People have a tendency to do that, which I will never understand. To me, the worst thing that can happen is being called on about a blatant lie. I suppose in a big firm, you can hide behind others and ask everyone for a little bit of help, but in a company as small as ours, it'd be impossible to maintain the facade of knowing more than you really do.

Better to start off with zero expectations, that way you are sure to wow the heck out of them.

Speaking of wow-ing the heck out of someone. I was looking at the personal income tax rates in the states yesterday. Wow. I'm paying more than 2.5X the tax than someone with my income in the states. Did you know that some states have no tax? And some have a flat rate of like 5%? And that most states' tax hits its ceiling at around 6%?? That's like the lowest tax rate in Ontario!!

And Ontario has one of the lowest personal provincial tax rates in Canada, along with BC. Go figure!!

Yes, I realize that less tax means the lack of important benefits like free healthcare. But you can always go buy health insurance, no? With the large discrepancy in tax rates between the two countries, a person with relatively high income can easily save about $15,000Cdn a year in taxes. That's more than enough to pay for all those free benefits that Amercians don't have. I suppose if you are the sole breadwinner of a family then it'd be pricey, but really, if you are young and independent, there isn't much to lose. Except maybe for national pride, that is.

I need to have a nappy nap. I've had yet another sleepness night.

And one more thing, I hope this little guy is okay. :( Bad kitty!

time for: dinner. yummy growling. where's everybody??

must.. not.. let.. idiots.. bother.. me.

Before I dive into things that have left me flabbergasted, let me talk about something else.

The first aid class went fine, despite my lack of sleep on the Friday night. Was a little shaky all saturday, but I think I got what I needed to cover done. All in all, the course went pretty well. There were some tiny timing issues and I think I talked too much, but a little bit of tweaking of the lesson plan will fix that right up.

The rest of week was just long and hot. And highly sleep deprived. For some reason I can never sleep before 1:30am. Something always come up. Have been looking at a lot of Boston related stuff for Edward cuz 1) I'm nosy and I like looking at stuff.. and 2) since I can't go down there to help him look for a place, I'll do the research on all the other stuff/costs of living in Boston. (ie. flights, internet, phone, cell, insurance, etc.) I don't think he should deprive himself of basic luxuries (is there such a thing?) while he's in school because he'll be there for 4 years and that's a long time to be without things like high speed internet and cable TV.

Not surprisingly, I was a tad upset when it was confirmed that he was gonna go to Boston. Plus, some ppl who are supposed to care about me made some horrible comments about the situation. But now it's cool. This will be an awesome experience for Edward and really, four years isn't that long anyway. Especially since we'll see each other every couple of months.

But anyhoo, on to things that boiled my blood.

Finished HP 6 as indicated on my MSN name. (awesome book, I won't say any more) This girl I know saw my MSN name and sought me out to tell me that she's "philosophically opposed" to HP. Apparently it's not suitable for adults because it does not encrich one's mind. She also said that HP is like Walmart. Cuz it's mass produced and people picket it. Yes, that made lots of sense. Uh huh. She ended the conversation with "HP is to lit(erature) as Walmart is to corporations". Right. Way to contradict yourself. Also threw in a couple of "let's agree to disagree." Alright then, moron, run away from your flawed and pretentious argument.

You know what else annoyed me?

Some guy I know said that women have expirations dates. And that men will still be valuable when they are older than 30. Also, by then, women will be lining up for him and he can have his pick and vote them off Survivor style.

You know what took the cake?

A woman actually agreed.

WTF.

What expiration dates are we talking about?? Honestly, what is wrong with society that people of our generation still think that way?? Inequality existed decades ago because men were the sole breadwinner of a family and therefore women WERE waiting to be picked. Women who think like this today are either throwbacks from previous generations or they are seriously lacking in self-esteem. Open your eyes, things are a little different now.

What kind of fucked up, chauvinistic attitude does someone have to have to actually think that women have expiration dates? Do they not realize that women of today are independent and will marry for love and not for money? If he THINKS women will be lining up for him when he's older, he better get out of his bubble and realize that it's an equal playing field. And try to expand that tiny crack of a mind you have. And also, Asian men in general age a lot worse than women, just something to keep in mind while you are on your high horse. So when you are 35 and you wonder where that line of girls are, be sure to give me a call. I always enjoy a good laugh.

There, I'm done. I've tried not to get so worked up about things. But sometimes.. sometimes a good bitch slap followed by a swift knee in the groin just seem like the best thing you could do for someone.

time for: shower, some tidying up. and sleep.

wtf?? again?

This happened again. Except for the following differences:

1. no lyrics this time;
2. I needed my brain to function today as I am supposed to teaching people how to potentially save lives;
3. this time, I think I knew why I couldn't sleep, and
4. there was no anger/frustration this time, just kinda gave in to the fact that it's insomnia 1: eve 0.

New tactics tried:

1. tried to read a boring book;
2. tried to read a fun book, and
3. moved to the living room and watched TV.

Similarities between last time and this time:

1. None of my tactics worked.

What I will try next time (damn I hope there's no next time):

1. "or try suffocating your face with your pillow." - ab.

What's going on? I'm getting kinda worried. Am I too young to be taking sleeping aids? Or does this mean I'm destined for the US of A where chemical induced sleep is simply a fact of life?

time for: shower. then dinner. then over to dom's later. I need some victims to bandage/splint. I don't really remember how to bandage someone with a broken collarbone.

why?

So sick of people making "jokes" which hurt people's feelings and then not only not have the decency to realize that perhaps they took something too far, but they go and make fun of you for being too sensitive or "get a sense of humour".

Then they accuse you of being too defensive. Yeah, well, I've learned to tread carefully. All those "jokes" over the years have made of wary of whether there are traces of malice in your comments. Do they even care about my feelings? I don't think so.

I get it, some things may be funny to you but not to me. I may seem like I take things too seriously, but who doesn't when it's something they care bout? And notice one thing, you have things that you are sensitive about too, but make note that I never intentionally rip into you about it. Cuz 1) You'd deny it and somehow make me feel bad and 2) I don't think you'll find in your heart to realize that perhaps there's truth in what was said and find forgiveness. I'd rather bite my tongue than to know someone's angry with me. And when I do rip into people, it's usually accidental and you can be sure that I'll be angry with myself for it for a while.

Fuck. People just amaze me.